The Rare Fluff
by YaoiPhox
Summary: Based on a pic of mine on dA. This couple seems a bit lacking in the fluff, no? Well, one fateful day, Hidan is gone but a child is left in his place. What will Kakuzu do to bring his partner back to proper age? Rated for Language... Yaoi is involved.
1. Chapter 1

A Rare Fluff by catbleu at deviantart.

This fic is based on that image. Go see it naow!

... Unless you don't feel like searching... :(

Ahem. Anyways~ A Fluff Story for our fave Sadomasochistic Couple.

* * *

I sat at my desk, counting money as I usually did upon waking up. It was quiet since my partner was still sleeping. He should remain asleep until long after noon. I had just reached counting the third case of uncounted money from last night's bounty when I heard him yawn. I gave I sigh and swiveled around in the office chair.

"Morning, fuck-face." He stretched, revealing his bare hips.

I rolled my eyes at his coarse language, returning to finish counting the last bundle of cash. He snorted then retreated for the bathroom attached to our room. I made sure to ignore him this morning. Once the door closed, however, I sighed. Hidan always slept in the nude and even more-so since we'd become somewhat close. … Unless you were to consider a good romp roughly twice a day more than 'somewhat' close. As I felt my face heat I vigorously shook my head. It was only casual sex to vent the stress is all it is.

"Hey, Kakuzu! Where the fuck is my shampoo?" Hidan shouted suddenly.

"Check under the sink." I replied boredly.

"Why the hell did you put it under there?"

"It helps clear clutter." I grumbled.

I received no response and returned to counting. I shoved all thought of my relationship with Hidan from my head in the process. I finished counting then, as I was about to scold Hidan for the long shower, the water shut off.

"Hidan, if you take another long shower, I will personally see to you death." I scowled anyways as the door opened.

"Like you could pull it off, bastard. Seen the towel?"

I received little shock as he stepped from the bathroom, completely bare. Time to gladly welcome round one of our day…

- End Kakuzu POV - Begin Narrator POV -

"Zetsu, fetch Hidan and Kakuzu." Pein commanded the plant man in the corner of his office. "Tell them they have a mission near the Hidden Sound Village."

The ginger motioned to Konan whom approached Zetsu, folder in hand. She handed over the mission information and he gave a respectful nod. Konan returned to Pein's side as Zetsu began to sink into the floor. He reappeared in the cave just outside the Hidden Rain Village in which Hidan and Kakuzu stayed with, at this moment, Kisame and Itachi. The blue shinobi was the one to greet Zetsu first, sitting on the ragged loveseat with Itachi.

"'Afternoon. **Kakuzu?**"

"They're occupied at the moment." Kisame snickered.

"Is it for a mission?" Itachi asked calmly.

"Yes. **This will be fun.**" Zetsu sneered, heading for the Immortal Duo's room.

Zetsu arrived at their door, hearing the usual curses from Hidan. What he didn't expect was the door slamming open, barely missing him. Hidan stormed out, his face a deep red with an unidentifiable emotion. Inside Kakuzu was staring after him, face set in a scowl.

"What's wrong, Kakuzu? **Get your ugly ass rejected again?**" Zetsu mocked.

"… At least I actually get some, mutant plant." Kakuzu growled, readjusting his headgear.

"Well, **whatever -bastard.** You have a mission so you'd better patch things up."

Zetsu tossed him the envelope then began to fade into the floor. A sneer on his face until he was gone. Kakuzu scoffed, going to grab their packs and placing the information inside. Really, all he did was shove the religious moron on the bed. However he just _had _to bitch about how he'd just taken a 'fucking shower'. He huffed, slinging the pack around his waist so he could grab his partner's scythe. He found Hidan in the kitchen, chugging straight from the jug of Kakuzu's special 'tea for the heart-s.'

"Oi! How many times do I have to tell you; THAT'S MY TEA!" Kakuzu roared, throwing the nearest object -Itachi's thick-ass diary (er, journal)- at his head.

Hidan sputtered, nearly dropping the jug. He spun around and the glaring contest began. Kisame and Itachi, bored, decided to watch the probable fight between the two immortals. The only thing they relied on for entertainment when living with the two. They were disappointed when Hidan turned away with a 'tch' and replaced the beverage in the fridge. Kakuzu's eyes narrowed when his partner returned to his side.

"Alright, fuck-face, what's our assignment now?" He sighed, noticing his scythe.

"Bounty around the Hidden Sound Village." Kakuzu answered dully, already heading for the exit.

- End Narrator POV - Begin Hidan POV -

Kakuzu took the lead and I followed a decent distance away. My mind replayed this morning's 'activity'. I usually wouldn't mind being jumped by him out of nowhere, I am used to and expecting it. I just didn't feel like it at that moment because… hell, I don't know why. Perhaps I was just tired of being used. I like the rough attention he gives me but it would be nice to receive some thing a bit softer.

"Hidan, what's wrong with you?" Kakuzu's gruff voice disturbed my thoughts.

"What the fuck's wrong with _you_?" I bit back with a bit of a drawl.

"You were actually being quiet. It was nice." Kakuzu replied, masking all emotion as usual.

"Tch. Fuck off." I replied bitterly, noticing we had just about reached our destination.

Who would have thought that I could think of Kakuzu through such a time?

* * *

It's nice having some fluff with these two... not that it is currently visible... xD

Also: Please see my poll if you wish for more frequent updates. Show your support.


	2. Chapter 2

They arrived at the hut in which their bounty resided. They branched off in order to surround the place. Hidan had that cocky, eager grin plastered on his face while Kakuzu showed no sign of his enjoyment. Kakuzu waited patiently once he spotted his partner stationed directly across from him in the bushes. After awhile, Kakuzu could see Hidan was getting impatient. He gave a nod in reluctance and watched Hidan creep from his hiding place and up to the hut.

Hidan peered inside and saw no light source. His brow furrowed in confusion then went to look for a place where he could slip in. Kakuzu growled softly to himself when Hidan disappeared from his line of sight. He felt something he hadn't felt in awhile -worry. However he knew not the reason. Hidan was immortal so surely he would be completely fine. He sighed then dug through the bag to look for the mission information.

Hidan found an opening soon enough in the back of the hovel. It was a window but there was no sign of life within. He looked around once inside, padding softly through what looked to be the kitchen. He headed into a hallway to look for the bedroom, ignoring the pictures of a familiar snake-man hanging on the walls. He soon found the bounty exactly where he suspected, face down in the pillows of a very comfortable-looking bed.

He smiled insanely at the prospect of a kill. It was a shame that it would be easy and painless. He rose a pike over the man's heart. He did not expect what was yet to come…

Kakuzu tensed after reading something of importance on the scroll he had overlooked. Of course, it wouldn't be something too worry about when your partner was immortal. However, Kakuzu still felt something for the moron he was paired with. One of Orochimaru's escaped pets is not someone to underestimate. Especially when it has such a hefty sum overhead.

He hastily put the scroll away when he heard the front door open. He looked up, hoping to see Hidan there. But no, it was their target, wearing an evil expression. Kakuzu tried to see any sign of his partner pursuing but there was none to be seen or heard. Kakuzu sprang from his hiding place, catching his victim completely by surprise.

The kill was quick and silent. Kakuzu was utterly confused by this fact. What the hell had his partner been doing then? There was no way someone so weak could have harmed someone as strong as Hidan. (xD Kuzu gave a compliment.) Kakuzu pushed the door open and started to seek out his companion's chakra signal. He wondered why it seemed smaller than usual as he followed it into the bedroom.

The bedroom was empty - or so he thought. He was just about to turn and leave when he heard a whimper from the bed's direction. He approached then looked down at a quivering pile of blankets. He sighed, grasping the covers.

"Alright you cowardly fool, what is your prob-" He blinked in utter shock at what greeted him under the sheets.

"Sasori, Deidara; Pein wishes for you two to meet with Kakuzu and Hidan." Zetsu informed the two artists whom where on their way back from a mission near the Hidden Sound Village.

"What? Why, un?" Deidara asked.

All he wanted was a nice relaxing break at home. His clay supply was pretty much depleted. Not to mention Sasori had to do some repairs -thanks to Deidara's 'art'- on Hiruko. The master scowled at Zetsu from within his slightly blackened defense puppet.

"Yes, why?" He grumbled.

"You'll all be going on another mission together. **But it should be fairly easy with the four of you.**" Zetsu replied, handing Deidara the mission information. "You can find them not too far from here."

"Ugh. I'm outta clay though, un!" Deidara pouted.

"And I need to fix up Hiruko after that brat set one of his 'masterpieces' off without regard for his surroundings." Sasori added a mocking tone to mention of Deidara's art.

"Maybe if that ugly _thing_ was built for speed you wouldn't have a problem, Sasori-danna." Deidara scowled.

Zetsu took this opportunity to slowly melt away. Fights you don't want to get between would be between Sasori against Deidara, for fear of being blown up or poisoned. Nor between Kakuzu vs. Hidan simply because their methods are quite violent with no chance of a mortal surviving. Once the cannibal had vanished, however, the two artists turned from their stare down. Lately… neither were up to trying to kill each other.

It was no time before they had arrived near their destination. The hut looked deserted. They headed towards the entrance to find a bloodstain in the grass. They exchanged a look, a brow raised. Their comrades had been here alright. The question was, where? Sasori wait outside to keep guard while Deidara ducked inside. The bomber kept a straight path which led him into a bedroom.

Deidara had expected to see the two immortals either in the bed or the room completely abandoned. However he was surprised to find a small, naked boy sitting on the bed, crying out for his mother. Deidara blinked, rubbing his blue eyes - the boy looked to be about five and had snow-white hair. Had Kakuzu and Hidan merely killed the boy's father then left the child for dead? It seemed their style.

"Hey, kid, don't cry, un." Deidara sat on the bed by him, cooing as he reached out to rub his back.

"D-Don't!" the child cried when he felt the blonde touch him.

He flinched away and scurried to the head of the bed. Deidara started at this then frowned. He would be sure to tell Kakuzu a thing or two about abusing poor children. He sighed then crawled over to the boy, ignoring his struggles. He pulled him to his chest and stroked his soft, slightly messy hair.

"It's alright, un. That big, scary monster's gone for now. I won't let him harm you next time, un." He cooed.

Eventually the child quieted and Deidara smiled softly. He looked at the tear stained face to discover he had fallen asleep. How cute, he mused, standing up with the kid cradled in his arms. He headed out the door to depart with Sasori. They would have to look for Kakuzu and Hidan at the nearby collection offices.

* * *

Calling Kakuzu a monster... not nice, Dei, not nice at all... KIDS ARE THE REAL MONSTERS!


	3. Chapter 3

Kakuzu carried his catch to the nearest collection office. His head swimming. He didn't understand how Hidan could have vanished. Perhaps he had run? No, he couldn't see reason… unless he had actually been disturbed by this morning's action. Then there was that odd child to consider.

Kakuzu looked down at the quivering boy. He looked down on 'it' coldly but was surprised when it looked up at him with wide, curious eyes. They were a similar color to Hidan's only brighter. His hair was a lot lighter as well as unstyled. Kakuzu frowned and then turned, he would have to look for his partner later, it seemed. He left the room, ignoring the cries begging him not to leave.

He arrived at his destination soon, readjusting the corpse before he entered. When he left, he took a reasonable amount of money with him. He hadn't counted it for he wanted to look for Hidan. That and it was hardly as fun as when Hidan would complain about the wait. He sighed in reminiscing. Kakuzu didn't understand what drove him to want to look for his annoying partner. After all, he worked better alone.

At least, that is what he tried to convince himself. While in truth, he recalled the few times when Hidan had actually saved his ass. But why had his ass needed saving, exactly? Because he had been staring at his _partner's_ ass. He stopped suddenly, slapping a hand to his face.

Good lord; he sounded as though Hidan meant more to him then a way to relieve sexual tension. But maybe... he did mean something more...

"HEY, un! There you are, Kakuzu-danna!" He was brought out of his depression at the sound of Deidara's voice and looked up.

Just what he needed. However, once Deidara came closer, a heart leaped. In his arms was that same boy. The one he was sure he had abandoned and gotten rid of. He scowled and met the artists half way, glaring at the 'thing' in the blonde's arms.

"What is _that_ doing here?" Kakuzu grumbled, then decided to play dumb... in a way, "Don't tell me Sasori actually managed to knock you up."

He gave a sadistic smirk upon receiving the reactions. Deidara turned bright red, nearly dropping the child. Sasori, no doubt, had a similar reaction. Neither said anything for awhile, recovering from their shock.

"I'M A GUY, UN!" Deidara scowled, forgetting he held a once sleeping child.

"AND I'M NOT GAY!" Sasori soon followed.

"Faggots."

All three criminal ninja froze, looking to the young boy in Deidara's arms. The blonde's jaw dropped at the foulmouthed toddler. He knelt down, placing him on his feet and resting his hands on his shoulders. Kakuzu smirked at the sight of Deidara actually being serious.

"Now, now, kid, un. That isn't true nor is it a nice word. Say you're sorry, un."

"Fuck off, bitch. Why should I? And I have a name." the toddler scoffed, continuing once he heard a laugh from Kakuzu.

"If you have a name, why don't you tell us?" Sasori sighed, using Hiruko's tail to restrain his partner.

"... Why should I give my name to you strangers?" He replied coolly, crossing his arms.

"Heh," Kakuzu laughed, approaching the kid, "You got a horrible attitude, brat. My name is Kakuzu, that's Sasori and Deidara."

"Your name is funny..." The boy replied, staring blankly at his mask.

"It's rude to stare, brat." Kakuzu grumbled, turning away from the innocently curious eyes.

"Why do you wear that ugly shit?" he asked, jabbing a finger.

"... Because..." Kakuzu scowled, straightening up.

He hadn't even realized he had been leaning down. He sidestepped past the kid to stand next to the others. Deidara had calmed down and was having conversation with Sasori.

"Danna, I think I'll have to agree with you for once, un." Deidara whispered.

"Hm. That brat is definitely him or at least a relative." Sasori gave a nod inside Hiruko.

"Well?" Kakuzu interrupted their 'private' discussion, a bit annoyed that he was excluded, "What do you two want?"

"Oh, well, we all have a mission again, un. You, Me, Sasori-danna, and Hidan-chan." Deidara listed.

"Did you say Hidan? AND HIDAN-_CHAN_ AT THAT!" the boy exclaimed suddenly.

"Uh, yeah, un?" Deidara rose a brow in question, "What's it to you?"

"Do you know Hidan?" Sasori asked.

"Where is he?" Kakuzu added.

"Um... m-my name's Hidan... dumb-asses..."

* * *

Oh snaps!


	4. Chapter 4

"Kid, that isn't funny. At all." Kakuzu growled.

"What the fuck do you mean? I'm not trying to be funny, fuck-face!" Kakuzu jolted at his familiar 'nickname'.

"What did you just call me?" Kakuzu snarled, throwing 'Hidan' against a tree, choking him.

"Kakuzu!" Deidara scolded, grabbing his arm. "Calm down, you can't just kill him!"

"If it really is Hidan, then this won't matter. He's immortal so I can't kill him." Kakuzu paused to think then added, "Would you prefer I lop off his head?"

At this point Hidan was terrified of what this man would do. He struggled in vain, clawing at the hardened arm restraining him. His head started to hurt and he began to close his eyes. He welcomed the darkness.

"There! Are you satisfied now, un? It's Hidan!"

Hidan began to come to then slowly sitting up. He blinked then emitted a yawn. This caught the attention of a certain redhead that sat on a stool. Hidan was laying in a bed by that stool. Sasori looked at him in curiosity.

"Hidan," He awaited a reaction and continued upon receiving one, "how are you feeling?"

"Good!" He replied with a smile.

"... Kakuzu, Hidan's awake and better than ever." He shouted into another room, leaving Hidan alone.

He wasn't alone for long before Kakuzu appeared in the door way. Hidan looked up at him, his expression innocent. It was as if Kakuzu hadn't choked the life from him moments ago. Kakuzu sat on the bed at Hidan's side. They only stared at each other at first.

"... Where am I, Kakuzu-san?"

"Oh sure, _now_ you're polite." Kakuzu grumbled to himself before answering, "We're at an inn."

"Oh..." was his brilliant response.

"So I take it you don't remember anything then..." the elder sighed, showing his sadness for once.

"... Why are you sad?" Hidan blinked, placing a hand on Kakuzu's knee and looking at his face from a closer distance.

"I'm not sad." Kakuzu replied, hurrying to mask his emotions once more.

"Bullshit."

"Jeez, how long have you been cursing?" his eyes narrowed as he scooted away from Hidan.

"Since I could talk, why?" Hidan scooted closer.

"Well, you were cursing the moment we met." Kakuzu trailed in reminiscence.

"We just met today, Kakuzu-san." He blinked his light magenta eyes.

"No, we didn't. We met about a year ago." Kakuzu sighed.

"Oh... I don't remember. Can you tell me about it?"

Kakuzu gave a nod and Hidan seemed to brighten at this. He didn't expect the brat to crawl into his lap though. He glared down at him and he looked back with wide eyes; unfazed by it. Kakuzu clenched his fist but with a heavy sigh, relaxed. He scoot to the head of the bed, taking Hidan with him.

"Well, where to start..."

– Flashback – POV, Kuzu Talking to Hidan –

I just returned from a mission which resulted in the easy demise of my third partner of the month. They were always so eager to die, you know. Our leader -the Akatsuki's leader- scolded me for losing yet another partner. I was told my new one would be waiting for me in the nearest village. So, off I go to waste valuable time looking for a partner that I believed wouldn't last long. You were waiting for me just at the outskirts.

-Here, Kakuzu Pauses-

-Continues After Hidan Pokes Him-

Anyways, there you were, there I was. You looked unimpressed and I was thinking you wouldn't last a day. In truth, we had hardly left for home when I sliced your head off. Don't give me that look, you lived. You also bitched me out for about an hour as I was reattaching your stupid head and long after too. Once we arrived at the cave, which is our home, you complained about how there were two cots and no beds. We had yet another spat before, in order to save the furniture, I caved. However, there was no way I was going to buy _two_ beds.

We were just about to turn in for the night. We got into yet another fight over who would get the bed. You managed to get my mask off which is something I really didn't want.

-Hidan Interrupts to Ask, "Why?"-

… Maybe I'll show you again sometime. After you took my mask, the fight ceased and you kept staring at me. I was beyond angry at that time and was about to storm out of the room. However, you stopped me by grabbing my wrist. This confused me until you... well...

-Kakuzu Turns Red and Seems at a Loss for Words-

-Hidan Urges, "What did I do? Did I hurt you?"-

Er, no... you just... offered to share the bed with me. So, I accepted and we lived happily ever after, the end.

– End Flashback Story –

Hidan gave an 'oh' then curled up against Kakuzu. The elder scoffed at this but allowed it. What he couldn't tell the child Hidan was the truth. After Hidan had grabbed him, he pulled Kakuzu into a rough kiss. This did lead to them sharing the bed, having bloody sex and eventually sleep after a quick shower... together. When they awoke, Kakuzu was holding him like he did every morning after. Hidan never learned this part (that he knew) because he always awoke first and left the bed.

Kakuzu passed that time as Hidan merely needing sexual release. After all, nobody would actually love him. He was far to disfigured... He shook his head then looked down at Hidan (he is wearing pants that fit now). He was pretty cute, he mused, stroking his slightly greasy hair – he would need a shower when he wakes up. He crawled under the covers, careful not to wake his 'precious bundle'.He pulled down his mask with a bit of hesitation and gently place his lips to the little forehead.

* * *

D'aww~ Ain't they cute...


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm gonna see if Hidan is still alive, un." Deidara informed Sasori whom was busy working on Hiruko.

"Odd that Kakuzu hasn't left the room since last night." Sasori muttered.

"How is it odd, Danna?"

"I could have sworn they hated each other but after what Kisame told me..." Sasori trailed, scrubbing a spot from his puppet.

"What did Kisame-danna say, un?" Deidara asked, hand on the doorknob.

He went tense at the knowledge Sasori spoke with Kisame. After all, only the shark and possibly his partner know about his crush on the puppet master.

"He said, and I quote, 'You're lucky you don't live here. I never knew Hidan could scream that loud...'"

"Ew! Mental images, un!"

"Yeah. Now we have four gay shinobi in the organization." Sasori sighed.

"Five, un..." Deidara said more to himself, opening the door.

Sasori overheard though and turned to question him. However Deidara was already gone. He hoped that shark hadn't told Deidara about him liking the brat. Sasori was bi after all. He shook his head then returned to his work. No, he had mentioned a fifth _gay_ male, not a bi male. Perhaps he was referring to Leader or Zetsu.

Deidara hurried to the immortals' quarters and simply barged in. Quietly though, of course. Nobody wanted to try waking Hidan or Kakuzu. He looked to the bed first and was shocked to find Kakuzu laying with his back to the door. Cautiously the bomber approached for a better look, wondering where Hidan was. When he arrived he noticed a patch of white just under the covers, close to Kakuzu's chest. Deidara blinked to rid any sign of surprise before rushing back to his and Sasori's quarters.

"Sasori-danna, un! You gotta come see this!" He hissed, snatching the redhead's elbow.

Sasori protested a bit before Deidara pressed a hand mouth to his mouth. Deidara seemed to have forgotten his extra mouths though because he showed no notice that it was currently 'tonguing' his crush. Sasori flushed from this action and kissed back on instinct. He stopped when Deidara brought him to Kakuzu, pulling his hand away.

"Shh, un. Look." He whispered, pointing to the white mess of hair.

"Is that thing Hidan?"

Sasori didn't wait for a response before yanking the covers back. Their eyes widened; Kakuzu was indeed holding Hidan (still a child) close to his chest. Hidan in turn was nuzzling into the torso, innocent smile on face. Kakuzu growled when he began to feel the temperature change from the blanket's removal. He pulled Hidan closer in attempt to steal extra body heat. The artists exchanged a smirk.

"Wake up, Faggots!" Sasori mocked; Hidan called them faggots first so it was only fair.

Kakuzu shot up and glared at the pair. Hidan woke after Kakuzu had released him.

"We're only as gay as you fuckers." He yawned.

"Exactl– hey! We aren't gay, un!" Deidara pouted.

"And I believe in Jashin." Kakuzu grumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Who the fuck is Jashin, Kuzu?" Hidan questioned innocently.

Kakuzu nearly had a heart attack while the artists could only stare at the child with dropped jaws. Once Kakuzu was sure his hearts were fine, he too joined in staring at Hidan in disbelief. His partner squirmed, unnerved by the attention.

"Seriously, dumb-asses; who is Jashin?"

"Only your almighty deity that you worship daily to the point it pisses Kakuzu off." Sasori answered.

"He's the reason for your immortality and you stab yourself please him, un." Deidara added.

"Why does my worshiping this 'Jashin' piss Kakuzu off, Sasori-danna?" Hidan blinked.

"Hidan... if you ever address Sasori as 'danna' again, I'll rip your heart out... literally." Kakuzu growled, yet directed his glare at Deidara for no doubt brainwashing his partner.

"As you can see, he gets jealous easily, un." Deidara replied smugly.

If it wasn't for Sasori, Deidara would be dead. Hidan jumped when threads shot out for the blonde before he was pulled into Sasori's arms. It was awhile before anyone realized they weren't alone. Kakuzu's panicked eyes met Hidan's curious ones. Deidara pulled away from Sasori sharing a blush before darting out the door. Once Sasori had followed after, Kakuzu slowly retracted his arm, avoiding the child's eyes.

"That's so cool!" He grinned, grabbing the miser's arm and pulling up the sleeve before the other could protest.

Kakuzu watched with baited breath while Hidan's fingers explored his arm. He seemed fascinated by the stitches, tugging on one with a grin. He held up the arm and poked the black bands, wondering what they were. Kakuzu's hand... was so much larger than his own. He frowned then gave back the man's arm.

"What's wrong?" Kakuzu asked; he was enjoying Hidan's caresses.

"Kuzu, do you have more of those things?"

"... If I do?" They acted wary of one another, unsure of what should happen next, "And don't call me that..."

"Can I see them?"

"No. Maybe some other time. We have a mission and I'll be damned if I let you off the hook just because you're a kid now. We've wasted enough time as it is and time is money." Kakuzu sighed, getting out of bed, "Now get ready, I'll fetch the other two."

Kakuzu found their room and raised his hand to knock. He stopped when he overheard their conversation. Just because he was old did not mean he was hard of hearing as well.

"Dei-chan." Sasori's voice was soft as though purring.

"Mn, Danna..." Deidara sounded breathless.

'_Great... hopefully I don't get blown up for interrupting._' Kakuzu thought, knocking on the door.

"Fuck off, un!"

"Shh, brat. Come on in, Kakuzu."

Sasori was standing by the bed which was occupied by a flustered Deidara. Kakuzu was relieved the blonde and redhead were still clothed. This would make for good blackmail though...

"You mentioned we had a mission?" Kakuzu coughed.

"Yeah; we'll be infiltrating a possible base of Orochimaru's." Sasori answered, going over to Hiruko.

"Good thing too, maybe there's something to cure Hidan, un." Deidara mentioned, strapping on his clay pouches.

"Who's to say Hidan needs curing?" Kakuzu hadn't meant to speak aloud but the others nearly dropped what they were doing when they heard.

"Don't tell me you like Hidan as is..."

"You really are a pedophile, un."

"Wha? No I'm not! I'm just saying... he's not... as annoying as before." Kakuzu struggled to explain.

"Uh-huh... sure..." Sasori and Deidara exchanged a sly look once Kakuzu had retreated for the lobby of the inn.


	6. Chapter 6

I looked around the room once that Kakuzu guy had left. I had to admit he seemed pretty handsome, although a bit of a sourpuss too. I don't see how he expected me to get ready on my own. I don't even know what to get ready for! However I soon caught sight of a red triple-bladed scythe propped against the wall by the door. Curious, I slid off the bed and shuffled over.

"... How the fuck does he expect me to carry this?" I exclaimed.

Grumbling, I grabbed the handle and pulled. I let out a yelp when it fell towards me. I sucked, rolling away just as it imbedded itself in the floor where I had been moments before. I let out a sigh of relief then growled at the weapon. Maybe the story was true and I really had been bigger at some point. I tried again to pick up the scythe but before I could touch it, the window opened suddenly. I immediately tensed up and spun to face it in a fighting stance; a ninja reaction from my training at the academy.

"Well now, aren't you cute, Hidan-chan? I was wondering why you looked different although it appears that's because you got into a tussle with one of my pets." The snake-like man let his tongue show.

"Who the fuck are you? What are you talking about?" I didn't like this man. Something in the back of my mind told me he was not one to be trusted.

"You don't remember me either? How interesting." the man ignored my question, taking a step towards me, "I did raise you, after all."

"Wha-? Th-that's a lie! My father raised me and you certainly ain't that bastard!" I snapped.

"My poor child... you have lost your memories, Hidan-chan. You were taken from me by those awful men and they must have messed with your mind." The man cooed.

This made me relax a bit to think. I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth, but I couldn't be sure of anything. After all, I know _something _happened to me. I don't remember being older yet I obviously was. This man also felt familiar.

"C-Can you tell me more about my past, mister?"

"I will tell you anything you need to know, my boy. Simply follow me and we will try and fix you." I froze at that.

I agree something had happened to me. However, to say _I_ needed fixing was a stretch. What choice did I have though? Kakuzu left me at that house and now he's left me again. Who is to say he will return. I don't want to be alone... I took a step forward and held out my hand.

– End Hidan's POV – Begin Kuzu's POV –

Sasori and Deidara soon joined me in the lobby, the first hidden within his puppet. I tilt my head in greeting and the three of us wait for Hidan. While waiting, I began to ponder their earlier accusations. I do like Hidan as a child, but that's only because he isn't going on about Jashin. Not because he's attractive... well, he is cute, but he was hot before the transformation. This new Hidan was hardly different from the old except this new one I can't vent on.

Well, I could but then I'd be no better than Orochimaru. Frankly, I suppose I couldn't wait to get _my_ Hidan back. Yes, he's mine; I'm going to have to accept that over the course of a year that man managed to bring out emotions I buried a long while ago. He constantly aggravated my but knew the lines not to cross. He's also the first that isn't afraid of my scars. I snapped out of my thoughts once the flat side of Hiruko's tail tapped me.

"What do you want, Sasori?" I growled.

"We've been waiting here for too long. That brat is keeping me waiting and I don't-"

"-like to be kept waiting, yeah-yeah. We know, un."

"He isn't down here yet?" I scolded myself for sounding the way I did.

It sounded as though I was worried. However to say I wasn't worried would be a lie. I gave a nod then started back up to our room. Deidara trailed behind while Sasori went to check us out. I opened the door, expecting to see Hidan sleeping on the bed. Unfortunately, my partner was no where in sight; just perfect.

"Where'd he go, un? Did he run, Kakuzu-danna?" Deidara stepped further into the room near the opened window. Wait... opened?

"His scythe is still here although it's in the ground." I noticed, joining Deidara at the window, "Why is the window opened though..."

I trailed, noticing a scroll. I picked it up and unraveled it in a hurry. It was a note from none other than Orochimaru. I growled and showed the note to Deidara. His reaction was similar to mine. We had to hurry on our mission if we wanted to get Hidan back.

– End Kuzu's POV – Cue Normal POV –

Once Kakuzu and Deidara returned to Sasori and informed them of the kidnapping, they were off. They found the alleged hideout of the ex-Akatsuki member by using a clay bird attuned to Hidan's chakra signal. This was work-in-progress jutsu for Deidara though so they only got half way before Kakuzu stumbled across the suspiciously placed rock wall. They gathered around the entrance and scanned the wall for some form of seal or entry.

"Ugh, screw this, I'm blasting my way in, hm." Deidara hissed, going to dig for more clay. For once he was more impatient than his partner.

"Wait, I got a better way in, brat." Sasori ceased the bomber's hand with a string of chakra while he dug through his own bag within Hiruko. "I could try to melt a hole in the rock. It will eventually be noticed but we should be out before it is."

He stepped out of the shield puppet with a vial of acidic liquid. Kakuzu and Deidara stepped back when fumes appeared. The wall began to melt at an alarming rate. It stopped after awhile but left a small hole to show it was weak. Sasori jerked his head at Kakuzu whom began to harden his arm, stepping forward.


	7. Chapter 7

Hidan winced as an red hot iron came closer to his skin. Orochimaru held it inches from his victim's skin, a slightly sadistic look on his face. Hidan's heart rate sky rocketed when the iron suddenly pressed into his skin. He released an awful scream that Kabuto heard from outside the torture chamber of a lab. This location was specifically for this purpose. Not long ago they got word that an immortal had joined the Akatsuki. This had, of course, perked his master's interest quite easily.

He winced when a second scream echoed around the cave. He turned to peek inside the room and found Hidan still bound to the wall. Orochimaru held the iron in the flames again, ignoring his lab rat's sobs but turned when they ceased abruptly. He pressed an ear to the boy's heart and his eyes narrowed. Kabuto worried that Hidan's immortality had been lost upon reversing the aging process, something they had been saving since the man could only use the technique once. After all, it had erased his memory so why not his abilities?

He gave a relieved sigh when Orochimaru gave his satisfactory grin. He whispered words to Hidan as the boy returned to the waking world.

"K-Kuzu-chan..." He whimpered.

"Kakuzu isn't coming for you. He only cares about money and you will just get in his way the way you are." Orochimaru hissed.

"N-Not true."

"How is this belief false?"

"I dunno..." the child mumbled, straining his brain to find the reason.

"All you have to do is give me your immortality and the pain will leave. I promise." The snake brushed a hand along Hidan's cheek then paused at the burn over his heart before scratching the mark.

"I-I don't know how!" He screamed, beginning to sob again.

Orochimaru clicked his tongue in disappointment then retreated to a counter, grabbing a needle. First he would check the blood, then he would start dissection. If all else failed, he would be sure to add him to his collection. He would need a new body eventually, after all. He returned to Hidan and, just as the needle pierced skin, a slam resonated just from outside the door. He cursed then ran for Kabuto.

"What's going on?" He demanded.

"They're here." Kabuto responded, heading for the exit.

"Damn them." He hissed before following his assistant. They would need to try again.

Hidan gasped as his heart began to fail once more. Someone had come for him, but who? His world faded to black just before Kakuzu found him.

– Begin Hidan's POV – Flashback –

I wonder where I am... It is dark and I hear running water being muffled; like a waterfall. I reached around to feel my surroundings. Something kept me from doing so though. I gave a huff and suddenly smelled something strong. It smelled... nice. I nuzzled closer to the source of warmth. It was then I recalled last night. My eyes widened and, after much straining, I managed to catch a glimpse of Kakuzu's sleeping face as he held me close, protective, and possessive. The thought brought me warmth I was unaccustomed to save the first time I had allowed this same man 'deflower' me.

Again I flushed and hurried to hide my face again. We were still naked and the thought certainly didn't help my thinking. Eventually though, I managed to drift back asleep. It felt so damn good to be loved at long last...

– End Hidan's POV – End Flashback –

Hidan awoke with a start, his cheeks feeling hot with embarrassment. He soon found out he was being held like in that memory, he gave a dreamy smile and snuggled closer to Kakuzu's stomach. The latter glanced down at his partner, propped up against the head of their own bed back at the base they were now sharing with the artists as well as Kisame and Itachi. The last two had been stunned when Kakuzu barged in, cradling the miniature Hidan with possessiveness and a look daring anyone to take his bundle.

"Mn... I love you, Kuzu-chan." Hidan purred, nuzzling his partner.

"... I love you too, Hidan." Kakuzu managed after passing the shock.

"Can I see your face now?" Hidan yawned, pulling away to rub his eyes.

He winced as pain shot up his spine. Everything that had happened the previous night came flooding back to mind and he froze. Kakuzu noticed and started to stroke Hidan's head. After awhile he realized it wasn't enough and eased the child's head up. He had discarded his hood and mask before crawling into bed, something Hidan noticed only now.

"..." Hidan was speechless, reaching up to caress the elder's stitches. He broke into a grin at the feel. "Dumbass... always hiding your most attractive feature." He pulled Kakuzu closer and got to his knees, ignoring the pain as he placed a chaste kiss to his cheek. "Then again... I feel honored to be the only one to see it aside from those corpses." He smirked a familiar smirk the curled back up into his partner's lap.

Kakuzu remained sitting in stunned silence. He took a deep, shaky breath then moved to where he was lying down next to Hidan. He had to find a way to reverse this jutsu soon. Lest he prove Sasori and Deidara's correct.

– Meanwhile –

"Sasori-danna, what is that, hm?" Deidara pointed at the vial of blood on Sasori's work table.

"Hidan's blood from that needle Orochimaru left in him. I'm going to see what went wrong." Sasori explained, eyes trained on the microscope.

"I hope you can fix it, un." Deidara encouraged gently, wrapping his arms around Sasori's shoulders before leaving him in peace to sit on their bed.

Hours pass. Deidara drifts off. Sasori continues his examination. Hidan drools. Kakuzu snores. The sun rises. Deidara shifts. Sasori...

"Wake up Deidara! I think I've found it!"


	8. Chapter 8

"Mother fuckin'- damned puppet..." Kakuzu continued to ignore Hidan's grumbling as they made their way to the living room from the artists' room.

Sasori had managed to find the antidote but it needed to be injected. This did not bode well with little Hidan. He had freaked out, trying to run from the room; the last time he saw a needle was with Orochimaru. Kakuzu tied him down long enough for Sasori to pass the syringe to him before pulling Deidara's hair from the toddler's unkind hands.

Hidan paused on the stairs, wincing. Kakuzu noticed and looked back, restraining the urge to laugh. He was rubbing his sore lower cheek.

"Can't believe you, fucker... stabbing my ass then claiming it for yourself the second I was back to normal!" He seethed accusingly.

"Admit you loved it." Kakuzu smirked, heading for the living room once more.

"... I hate you, fuck face." Hidan grumbled, running back to his side.

"I love you too, Hidan." Kakuzu rolled his eyes, ruffling Hidan's hair just as they reached the others.

"About time." Itachi gave the two a bored look.

"We're surprised you can still walk, hm, Hidan." Deidara blinked as Hidan joined him on the sofa, his cheeks a slight pink.

"Same to you, bitch." Hidan snapped in recovery.

"How can you two sleep at night?" Sasori asked Kisame and Itachi; they had been living with the immortals before them.

"Their own screams drown us out." Kakuzu relished watching Itachi spit out his tea then scowled in a playful manner, "You're lucky we don't have carpets."

"Bastard." five simultaneous insults towards the miser.

"I wonder why Orochimaru had an interest in my partner anyways..." Kakuzu ignored their insult.

"It's a shame Hidan only remembers his time alone with Kakuzu." Sasori accused.

"Shame you don't have a dick." Hidan mumbled under his breath, earning a whack from Deidara.

"Well, isn't Orochimaru all about 'immortality', Sasori-danna, hm?" Hidan nursed his head while glaring at the blond.

"Yes, he..." Itachi paused when everyone's expressions showed a look reading, 'It-was-so-obvious'.

"How did he manage to find out about Hidan though?" Kisame asked.

"I'm fucking awesome, that's how!"

"I liked him better as a toddler..." Sasori grumbled.

"If that was the case, Kakuzu would be unbearable to be around." Kisame laughter cut off at the dangerous glint Kakuzu had in his eye.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hidan asked dumbly.

"A sex-deprived ninety one year old man with five hearts is one to fear." Itachi stated bluntly.

"..."

"Just saying..." Itachi crossed his arms and legs, leaning into the back of the sofa.

"Anyways... what are we going to do with Orochimaru, hm?"

"Hidan is full grown, he should be fine so long as Kakuzu sticks around." Sasori dismissed.

"Alright then... who's turn to make dinner?"

* * *

Crap ending but eh... Hope you liked it. Now I have to return to the MPreg and, if you like Chibi!Hidan, I have another AU coming up with toddler Akatsuki.


End file.
